Because I Need You'
by TheOneWithFanfiction
Summary: 'But now, all she felt was regret, regret that she wasn't his, and that never again would their fingers be intertwined like lovers were.' Regret can plague decisions, stop logical thoughts dead in their tracks, and leave you alone and scared. Now that Penny feels all of that and more, she needs Leonard more than ever, but Priya has him, and it's tearing Penny apart.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey guys, so this is just gonna be a short fic, it's inspired by an amazing song I heard today, called 'Need You Now'. I'm not really one for modern music, I prefer to stick to the 70's and 80's :P But this song just really made me wanna write something, so I did. I hope you enjoy this first chapter! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING, not 'Apple Industries', nor 'The Big Bang Theory', nor 'Lady Antebellum' or any of their music, this work of fiction is based solely around the enjoyment of the reader, and is not used for any monetary gain. **_

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Penny knew that he'd be with Priya. Penny knew that she'd be lying on what used to be her half of the bed, fingers intertwined with his, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, the way she'd always done. Penny knew that Leonard would be smiling, laughing and embracing her, making her feel warm and safe, the way he'd always done with her.

And Penny lay here all alone, with Leonard's favourite shirt on, with any pictures and mementoes of the two of them strewn across the room, turning it into more of a wreck than usual. She pined for him. Pined to be back with him across the hall, with Leonard drawing small patterns upon her arms with his fingers, while she laughed into his neck, pretending to try and pull away. Penny had wanted to be back with him within minutes of breaking his heart, and she had spent many a night praying to any God that'd listen, asking for another chance with Leonard, asking them for his forgiveness, for his _love. _But now Penny knew that she couldn't have that, she wanted it even more. She wanted to feel his reassuring breath on the back of her neck, telling her that she was safe. She wanted to feel his hands on her stomach, telling her that he was never leaving. She wanted to feel love again, but she'd never fallen out of love with Leonard, and she hoped that somewhere within him, he knew it.

She reached for one of the photos next to her bed, and rolled onto her back lifting it up to the dim light above her. It was of their first Valentine's together.

_Penny was lying with Leonard in his bed, her nose touching his, with a massive smile plastered across her face, her new diamond gold locket hanging loosely around her neck. He had given it to her as soon as midnight had hit, she had been asleep, and had at first been annoyed at Leonard for waking her up, but after slowly opening and seeing what was lying within the velvet box she had pounced him, smothering him with affectionate kisses, while he had just laid there, laughing sweetly at her reaction to his gift. She had so wanted to tell him that she'd loved him there and then, but she just couldn't admit to herself that he'd stolen her heart; Penny didn't want to get hurt again._

Penny could taste the salty tears on her cheeks, and it brought her back from her daydream, her hand reached for the locket that was still around her neck. She wore it whenever Leonard wasn't around, always touching it for comfort, and opening it every night before she slept. She even wore it when working shifts at The Cheesecake Factory, only taking it off whenever Leonard came in for dinner with _her. _

Something inside Penny broke, her hand shot out towards her IPhone, grabbing it from the nightstand, going straight to her contacts and swiping her finger vigorously against the screen until she reached Leonard's number. Her finger hovered over the call button, her resolve faltering in a moment of doubt. Leonard had a girlfriend, one that was a lawyer in criminal law. Why would he want just a dumb blonde waitress? She didn't deserve his love, just his cold shoulder.

She clicked the lock button on the top of her phone, and put it down on Leonard's side of the bed. She hit the home button, just so she could stare at the photo of the two of them hand in hand at an amusement park. Both smiling, both happy.

She rolled over, and blinked the tears from her eyes. Lifting the locket to her lips she kissed it, and in a faint whisper, she said to it:

'_Goodnight Leonard.' _

She could hear his voice in her head saying it back.

* * *

Penny spent the next night doing the same thing, looking through all of her photos, videos and trinkets, remembering happier times, back before she'd screwed up. She'd spent the past month within this cruel vicious cycle, torturing herself night after night with what could've been.

It was ten past one in the morning, Penny had been spying out of the peephole at regular intervals all night, waiting for Leonard to return, but he never did. She assumed that he must've spent the night at Priya's, until she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She jumped from her couch and leaped towards the front door, spying out into the hallway, feeling her heartbeat in her mouth; his very presence enticed her, excited her, and lifted her spirits. But not tonight, she saw him reach the landing, with a ragged look about him, he had bags under his eyes, and his hand was in his hair. Without thinking, and with her concern for Leonard taking over, she swung open her door, just catching him as he unlocked his. He obviously heard the noise, and turned to look at Penny, his eyes were tired, and they looked stormy, strands of hair were loose around his forehead, he looked a mess.

'_We broke up,' _He started quietly. _I-I wasn't in love with her.' _He looked at her without conviction, or anger. And then, he was gone.

Penny ran back into her apartment, slamming her door as she went, jumping on to her bed. She could feel Leonard hurting, and once again she felt the need to be with him. Within five minutes of hearing his words in the hall, Penny sat up slowly, reaching for her IPhone again, but this time, she _did _hit call, and he answered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, so here is Chapter 2, I kind of like it, despite the fact it was rushed :P I was really overwhelmed by the feedback I got, it was really positive**. **So, I decided to upload another chapter! :3 **

**On a sad note, I found out the use of lyrics is prohibited, unless I myself have wrote them, so I've decided that instead of making this short, I'm going to turn it into something longer, as It's no longer restricted to just the length of a song! :P **

**I hope you guys enjoy this one! :3 **

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'_Leonard, um, hi, I was, I was just wondering if you could come over? I can't sleep, and it's just, you know, I guess I just assumed you might not be sleeping either, you must have a lot on your mind, an-and,' _Penny was stumbling, she had no idea what she was saying, and her voice must have come across as shaky and nervous, because she could feel the sweaty clamminess of her palms.

She heard the buzz from the other side, signalling that Leonard had hung up, and immediately tears started flowing freely from her eyes, he'd rejected even her friendship, not speaking even a word to her. It should've been clear to Penny that she'd gone too far a long time ago, but being as headstrong as she was, regret only plagued her every thought when she saw the repercussions of her actions, in this case, Leonard's short lived happiness with another woman. Penny's session of self-wallowing was cut short when she heard her door open quietly; she went to reach for the titanium bat under her bed, until she was cut off by a hushed, sad voice.

'_Hey, don't worry, you don't need to go all Nebraska on my ass, it's me.' _Although his voice was quiet, it cut through the air, and right into Penny.

'_Wh-Why didn't you say anything on the phone?' _She replied, sniffling away the tears, scrunching up her nose as she did so. Leonard laughed.

'_Haha, why are you so adorable when you're upset? It shouldn't be that way, you know. You should be happy, you have everything. Talent, confidence, smarts, humour, an amazing smile, and more beauty than the entire female population on the earth combined. _

Penny wanted to cry, even when his heart was aching, he still went out of his way to make her feel better. Although the light was dim, she could make out a small smile on his face. But he still held himself in a reserved manner, as if afraid of being hurt at any moment. He was living in a state constant apprehension of pain, whether it was emotional or physical. _All because of her._

'_Leonard,' _She said, on the brink of tears '_that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, thank you.' _Penny managed to get out.

She could see him starting to walk towards her, and time stood still, at this moment, everything else was irrelevant, it was just the two of them, together, and Penny wanted it to stay that way forever.

She felt him crouch down in front of her. She felt his hand wipe away the tears from one of her eyes. She felt his warmth. And then, she felt his hand reach slowly to her neck, gently touching it as she felt a light weight lifted from her neck. Only too late did she realise she'd forgotten to take it off, leaving it open for everyone to see. She wanted to speak, to make an excuse as to why she was wearing it, try to make it seem as if it was just casual, and that Leonard was overreacting. But the words wouldn't come, they became lodged in her throat, but as she thought about it, she didn't _want_ to have an excuse.

'_You're, you're wearing the locket I got you for valentines,' _Leonard said, as if he couldn't even fathom what he was seeing. '_Why?' _

Penny couldn't answer. She just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, as once again the raindrops fell freely from her eyes. When Leonard spoke again, his voice was shaky.

'_Do you wear it a lot?' _

Penny saw no reason to lie anymore, there was no way she was going to wheedle a way out of it, and she needed Leonard to know the truth.

'_Whenever you're not around, Leonard. I can't sleep without it, and I can't bear to be without it, I-I even wear it when I'm working.' _ She tried to shake off her awkward words with a slight giggle at the end. But Leonard's face was plastered with shock. She was getting worried, she didn't expect him to react the way he had.

'_Penny, I need a straight answer here. No messing around. No more crap, OK? I can't take another broken heart; I can't handle being strung along again, only for the girl of my dreams to shatter my world when I proclaim my love to her. So I'm begging you here, Penny, just tell me honestly. Do you still have feelings for me?' _He barely got the last words out, before hanging his head and covering it with his hands. She could hear the loud sigh escape his lips when she didn't answer straight away.

This was it, what did she learn in poetry class again? '_Two paths diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less travelled by.' _She guessed that applied here, and so she decided to take the path she'd travelled very little of throughout her life. She needed to be honest with herself.

'_No,' _She whispered, head in her hands now, too. '_no I don't.' _

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**Awwww yes, I just love ending thing's on a good, angsty cliffhanger! :D See you all tomorrow! (Hopefully! ^^) (Reviews are most appreciated, by the way! ;P)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! So here is chapter 3, I hope you enjoy it! I love the feedback I got yesterday on the ending :3 It was pretty cool, I know this story wasn't intended to be angst, but I just ****_couldn't _****help myself :L **

**Well, if you guys were hoping for her to turn around and say something more meaningful, then, I'm sorry to disappoint you! She doesn't.. :3 **

**I just want to thank one guest in particular for reviewing last night, who wrote this amazing review, but I didn't want to have it posted, because if they ever want to post it in some of their work, they cant! :P But yea, to whoever wrote that ****_amazing _****long review with the suggestions on, thank you! It really made my day! :3 **

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Leonard stood, but he never lifted his head to look at her. Never did he think it'd be that painful to be rejected by someone, let alone by a girl that he'd already had his shot with. He let his hands slip out of hers; let out a sigh, and speaking to his feet he spoke:

'_Ok then, I understand, thanks for being honest. I'll see you around, Penny.' _

With that he stood, and walked towards her door, only looking back to see Penny, head still buried in her hands, with her legs hanging loosely off of the end of her bed. He whispered again, but quietly this time, so that she wouldn't hear him,

'_Bye, honey.' _He smiled to himself, reminiscing the days he'd been able to say it out loud.

And with that, he was gone.

* * *

Penny stood up from her bed, and slid her hands to her neck. She undid the necklace from around her neck, and placed it gently on to her pillow. Still in Leonard's shirt, she grabbed her robe and swung it around her. She took a deep breath, and strode confidently towards her door, and once she was out in the hall, she tried to close it, as silently as she could.

She walked towards 4A, knowing very well what she needed to do. And for the first time, she wasn't nervous, she wasn't scared, she was just excited. Excited that she could finally admit to herself that she no longer felt the things she did about Leonard a year ago.

The door was still unlocked, and once again, as stealthily as she could, Penny opened and closed the door behind her, to avoid anyone hearing her. She stood, not even daring to breath, just in front of the door, waiting to see if the man with Vulcan hearing would run in screaming,

'_Danger! Danger!'_

When no one arrived to find her, Penny crept her way to Leonard's door. Upon reaching the knob, she pressed her ear into the door, to see if there was any sign of life behind it. At first, she heard nothing, but after a few moments she heard stifled cries, calling out to a God he didn't believe in to help him. This drove Penny over the edge and she went flying through the door, not bothering with knocking, and ending up only a few feet from where Leonard sat at the end of his bed. Before he even had a chance to stand, she spoke, laying all of her emotion on the table, making her true feelings known, for the first time in her life.

'_Because when you're in love, you don't say that.'_

He stood, with a look of sheer bewilderment upon his face, straight into Penny's eyes. He bore into her very being, made her knees weak, and her heart pound.

'_You say I love you, and I __**do**__ love you Leonard, with every essence of my being. I regretted ending our relationship the moment I ran out of that bowling alley. There's not been an evening when I've not wished that I was in your arms, watching a movie, or doing geeky stuff, or going to dinner with you, watching the sunset, and well, just being with __**you. **__I need you Leonard, and it's taken me __**far **__too long to realise it. I want to be yours, I want to walk around on your arm, bragging to all my friends about your IQ, about your job, about your heart, and the way you treat me. I need to wake up with you next to me; I need to see you be happy, to be able to be happy myself. I need to be a part of your life again, and I'm willing to fight, fight for you until the breath leaves my lungs, until everyone in the world knows of my undying love for you, until the day I marry you, and spend every day trying to show you how much I love you. But for me to do that, I need you to say something Leonard, I need you to just say those three words back, and then I can try, I'll grovel for your forgiveness, and I'll pray that I can keep your love.' _

She'd done it. Penny had told him exactly what she'd felt, she'd laid everything on the line, just to try and win him back. Everything she'd said was true, and she hoped he knew that. And although her voice had gotten higher, and had started cracking, she was sure that he'd heard every word.

'_I- Penny,' _He croaked, before breaking into a massive smile '_I love you, of cours-' _

That was all she needed, she cut off his sentence by leaping onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. She looked deeply into his eyes, and she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She'd never let him go again, and she'd appreciate him each and every day. It was time for _her _to do some of the loving, and for Leonard to start being the recipient of it. And she couldn't be happier. She crushed her lips into his, and once again, for the second time that night, time stood still, and only the rapid beat of her heart and Leonard existed. As he pulled away, smiling at her, the full force of what she'd done hit her. She started to cry, not out of grief, but out of pure ecstasy that he'd never stopped loving her. She openly wept into his shoulder, crying out for his forgiveness, already starting upon her promise she'd made to him.

'_Leonard,' _She cried, '_I'm, I'm so sorry. I know that I can't just make it up to you with a few words, but I am. I've never regretted anything more than breaking your heart. And seeing you so reserved and quiet for the past year has made me realise just how guilty I should feel.' _

She went back from looking directly at him, to crying openly into his shoulder again.

'_Hey, come on,' _He whispered softly into her ear, '_You don't need to be sorry, and I don't want you to be, Penny. There's no need to feel bad, because it doesn't matter anymore. You're here, we're here. Despite all the crap we've been through, and all the ups and downs we've had, we've finally made it. And that's all the apology I need. And besides, I want you to be happy, Penny. It's what made me fall in love with you, your smile, your laugh, your passion for life. I need you to be happy, for me to be able to be happy.' _He finished, using her words to try and convince her.

After a few minutes of nuzzling his neck, Penny lifted her head, biting her bottom lip, smiling seductively she whispered into his ear:

'_Don't make me go back to my apartment tonight, then, my little homunculus.' _

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**Well, I lied! She did say something! :P Haha lawwl :3 This was my first attempt at 'Fluff', and honestly, I don't like writing it ;P I prefer angst, which is something you can probably guess :L Well, I'm going to turn the next few chapters into fluff, because I guess I should write some of that sometimes, I'm just no good at it :L**

**(Wanna leave a review about how my first attempt at writing something pleasant went? It would be most appreciated ;P)**


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